The Orphan Selloff

The Orphan Selloff is the annual trading of orphans staged by Krummin and Crazynumnums at the Brisbane City Dungeon. Every year on August 18th, Krummin and Crazynumnums sell child brides, sex slaves, and dead children to clear out the dungeon and make room for the incoming children over the next year.

Events of the Day
The Orphan Selloff has many attractions for the visitors. There are rides, fights to the death against THE ANDERSON BEAST, and book readings. But the main attraction is obviously the selling of the orphans.

Rides
Visitors often inquire as to whether the term 'rides' means they are going on carnival style rides or whether they are getting to ride the orphans. Fortunately for them, they get to do both on this day. Carnival rides include the 45 kilometre drop from the top of the dungeon to the bottom, the slingshot, and for those with a slightly slower pace, there's the teacup ride, which travels at exactly 43892 km/h.

Orphan rides are different. Each visitor receives three free rides, and after that they must pay AU$269 for an additional ride. If the visitor does not finish within five minutes, they are forcibly removed from the premises. If they refuse to leave, Crazynumnums turns their bodies inside out and sends them to a desert island. There are now 345 inhabitants of this island, and that number is swiftly increasing.

Book Readings
Visitors may pay fifty Mongolian to listen to a book reading. These include classic works of literature (written by Crazynumnums) such as 'Your Mother is a Third Country, No Wait, She's Actually Dead', 'Harry Potter and the Normal Child', 'The Communist Manifesto', and 'The Orphan Who Decided To Try Incest With His Mother Anyway'. These are usually met with 8 out of 5 star reviews.

Fights to the Death
THE ANDERSON BEAST is very willing to partake in this event. Visitors can pay 63904703 Japanese yen to battle against THE ANDERSON BEAST. This generates the second-most revenue of any attraction at the orphan selloff, partially because so many people want to fight THE ANDERSON BEAST, and partially because every fight is over within 0.00003 seconds.

Orphan Selling
People come from far and wide to purchase the orphans in Brisbane City Dungeon. Prices may range from anywhere between twelve Belarus rubles and 5293456 Kazakhstani tenge, based on the age of the orphan, the size, the experience, the submissiveness, the flexibility, and the number of holes. The number of holes often exceeds thirty as Crazynumnums creates new ones for the orphans every day.

Selling Brisbane City Dungeon
After Krummin sold the dungeon in early 2020 to Clive Ytryumnxczk, he made the man promise one thing; to continue selling orphans every year on August 18th. Insider reports suggest that Clive has recently begun finding orphans as stock for the upcoming event. Krummin and Crazynumnums have already booked their appearance at the Selloff, as has Sergeant Penis-Whacker.