The U.U.

Background
The United Universe is a universal organisation created in 567 UGD* (2900 BC Earth Time). The purpose of the U.U. was to organise the entire universe into separate sectors, and realms. It was created after The Epic Quantum War part II lead to the total annihilation of the Zelemphra IIV Galaxy. The three founders were Steve McQueen of Planet 4-4-55, Jak67_EEEer of planet Xeomiinon-66-8 and Galactar the Unstoppable of planet Roid-2-390.

* Universal Galactic Date

History
The concept of an organisation to bring together different tribes/countries/planets/galaxies has been around for as long as civilisation has. From the formation of the United Solar Systems of quadrant 8E in -345 UGD to the United Nations of Earth; quadrant 2H, in 1290 UGD. However, the success rate of such organisations are not good. Many times, such organisations are useless because of existing hierarchical structures, or lack of funding; they just transform into brutal all-powerful dictatorships if power is too centralised; or they are made obsolete by the obliteration of the planet/solar system/galaxy they control.

This was not the first attempt at bringing the universe together. In 23 UGD the universe was still hurting over the collision with the 9856th dimension, many existing power structures that relied of the "Fluid universe" model of physics were thrown into chaos, as warp drives, lightspeed expressways and Ugin engines all ceased to function. The advanced race known in most history textbooks as "The Everpresent" attempted to make structure of the chaos and established what at the time was named the "United Universe". However, now the new United Universe exists, it is now reffered to as "the old united universe" (deliberately not capitalised as Crazynumnums forbid the use of capitals when referring to it).

The Everpresent were able to get almost every galaxy in the known universe to join, as The Everpresent had plentiful access to carbon infusers, which were used to synthetically make crude oil. Crude oil had not been used as a source of energy by most of the universe for 100 million Earth years as Ugin engines were more efficient, cheaper and smelt like lavender. The Everpresent had a monopoly on energy production and as such had almost full control over the entire Universe in only 3 UGDs. Most now know how the story goes: Grand Queen Cowan became ruler of The Everpresent in 34 UGD and immediately instituted an energy tax on the 456^67 lifeforms that relied on Everpresent oil to survive. leading to the deaths of 69^35 lifeforms, still the largest genocide in the history of time.

78 UGD is known by many cultures as "The Great Miracle" as this is the first known record of God tier beings interacting with mere mortals. Sim-Paul, Crazynumnums, HERBKE, and the ANDERSON BEAST all emerged from the original dimension and combined their powers to vanquish Grand Queen Cowan to the Shadow Realm and doom all The Everpresent to an eternity of listening to "Ed Sheeran's Shape of You" on loop (A song the Gods stated was "a future hit track"). The gods then showed the surviving lifeforms how to construct new warp drives and cold fusion that worked on the new laws of physics, within 100 UGDs the universe was at piece. For now.

in 562 UGD the universe was engulfed in war. The Tweenia, The Blarf, The JaJ WeeWs and all of sector 12F believed they were "the chosen ones" and that Crazynumnums gave them the instruction to destroy the Universe to attain pan-dimensional existence (whether or not he actually did give that instruction is unknown). Naturally, the rest of the universe was not too happy with annihilation, so they rebelled. The Epic Quantum War part II (part one being the war between The second Delimeister Empire and the Globglogabgalab) lasted 5.45788 UGDs until the rebels destroyed the Zelemphra IIV Galaxy. with a quantum anti-matter device. forcing The Tweenia to surrender as they had no more allies.

After this the United Universe (the new one that this page is talking about) was formed. This naturally upset a lot of lifeforms as they saw this as history repeating itself (the name didn't help with that fear either). The U.U. vowed to restore law and order to the universe since there had not been unity and organisation between Galaxies since the dimensional collision. They so far have succeeded, and have in general lit the way through the longest era of relative peace in millennia*.

* depending on who you ask.

Structure
The stucture put in place by the members of the U.U. is pretty intuitive. The universe is broken up into "realms" each containing many hundred galaxies, each realm is required to have equal population to the next. Each realm is broken up into "sectors" that can contain as few as 1 or 2 galaxies, and as many as 500. Each sector votes* for a "Councillor" on a semi-regular basis. every 10 UGDs the thousands of Councillors vote for a "Sectrum Ultima Pantheon" which are a group of 5 lifeforms to act as representatives for each realm. Councillors have no term limit, however every Sectrum Ultima Pantheon has one term (10 UGDs) and are replaced every election cycle. Finally there is the Universal President who is elected by every lifeform in the universe every 20 UGDs. The Sectrum Ultima Pantheons, however, have the power to remove the elected Universal President if 2/3 of them vote to have the Universal President removed. It was later amended so all the Sectrum Ultima Pantheons must pay 20 000.7 Sphericoins ($990988459999.9999999 AUD) to remove a President in order to avoid the removal of Universal Presidents for political or monetary reasons.

* Unless of course you live in the Galactic Dictatorship of Nutte, The PolySystems of Gak, The Constillation of Alpha-U, North Koria (not to be confused with North Korea of Earth), Snall IX, TT-Urine, The United Vorge Empire, The Island of Death, The 5th Galactic Neigbourhood of Orion, The Democratic Galactic Democrasy of Freedom and Liberty, Froidgee 3, The Planetary Cult of the Rising Stars, Sector "G", The Allied Planets of Boog, The Halifax Clan (the one's that wear the funny hats), The Star System of Grand Diablo or FG-hjillio-667.

What the U.U. does
The United Universe has several roles within the universe:


 * Applies political pressure to galaxies who decide to start wars with each other.
 * Works with God tier beings instead of against them.
 * Manages the distribution of food, water, oxygen and any other resource vital for survival to act as a safety net against corrupt governments
 * Runs the UniversalWideWeb, so every galaxy has equal access to information as the next.*
 * Documents the births and deaths of every lifeform in order to maintain equal populations in each realm.
 * Disintegrates Blonks from our plane of existence, they are parasites, I hate them and you should too.
 * Prosecutes people that violate any of Giovanni's laws.
 * Prosecutes people that violate the declaration of 2001 rights.
 * Makes sure the rights of trillions of primitive species such as the Poopians and Earthlings are observed so they can advance to a point where they able to participate in Universal elections.
 * Perceives John.
 * Makes sure the needs and wants of each Realm and Sector are met for the most part.
 * Prosecutes corrupt members of the U.U.
 * Runs the Sector 14 Quantum Realm 3 Police Force.
 * and a lot, lot more.

* Yes, people of Earth can access the UniversalWideWeb, simply type uww. instead of www. into web browser of choice. (note: you will be required to read Vericonian and occasionally Q-67 script.)

What the U.U. doesn't do
The following is what the U.U. does not involve itself in:


 * The politics of individual galaxies and planets.
 * gardening.
 * Sector "G" (The sector possessed by the Globgogabgalab).

Every Universal President
This is a list of every lifeform that has acted or was elected into the esteemed position of Universal President:

The 1119 Scare
The 1119 Scare was an attempted coup by at the time Universal President Ms Cowan. It is called the 1119 Scare because it happened in 1119 UGD and was scary.

Before the Universal Presidential Reformation Pact was signed by all Realms in 1136 UGD, the Temporary President system worked like this: The winner of the Universal election would nominate one of the other Presidential candidates as a "Vigghh weeew de foo Vghhh" [emergency president]. This seems ok but over time it had the effect of grouping the electoral candidates into two groups, because there would be two major 'popular candidates' each election cycle that represented opposing views and every other smaller, less popular candidate would try to suck up to one of the two popular candidates. The less popular candidates would do this to increase the likelihood of themselves being chosen as the Vigghh weeew de foo Vghhh when one of the popular candidates won the election (because they were popular). This had the cumulative effect of over many election cycles dividing the U.U. and by extension the entire Universe. (The creators of the U.U. strictly forbade the formation of political parties for this very reason).

On 1040.996 Universal President Gorg McGee died under mysterious circumstances. Gorg had selected Ms Cowan as his Vigghh weeew de foo Vghhh so on 1040.996 Ms Cowan was instated as Temporary President. At the time Temporary Presidents would be able to compete in the Upcoming election free of charge (another flaw fixed by the Universal Presidential Reformation Pact). Ms Cowan won the 1041.9755 UGD election and things seemed normal for a long time. Ms Cowan won the 1061, 1081 and 1101 UGD elections but something was amiss. She won the 1041 UGD and 1061 UGD elections with 52% and 45% of the vote respectively (She won with 45% because there were 7 other candidates who each got smaller percentages). However, just when it was predicted she would lose the 1081 UGD election, Ms Cowan's popularity turned around and she got 62% of the vote. She then outdid herself in the 1101 UGD election, winning 75% of the vote. Which was odd, because if you were to ask the average lifeform their opinions on Ms Cowan, you'd most likely get the reply "She's a female!?" and "She's kinda shitty to be honest, and i want meth".*

* Translations may not be 100% accurate.

On 1119.24 UGD a damning report was published by Sector 456H proving that Ms Cowan had fixed the 1081 and 1101 UGD elections. During the 2nd 1119 UGD Vericon Summit; before the report was read out to the Sectrum Ultima Pantheons, Ms Cowan made her move. Utilising the loopholes and reforms she deliberately put in place over the past 50 UGDs she named herself "God Empress Cowan of Time and Space". She then opened a portal to the shadow realm in the middle of the building and unleashed an army of Shady Demons to kill all the Sectrum Ultima Pantheons.

Luckily there were plans in place in case a dimensional rift was opened during a Summit and all the Sectrum Ultima Pantheons were teleported to their respective Realms. Ms Cowan took over the planet Vericon 1 without opposition and established that as her base. over the next 15 UGDs she assembled an armada to invade the Universe while fighting off the hundreds of planets and Galaxies that tried to stop her uprising. Ms Cowans next move was going to be to destroy the entirety of Realm 7 and Sector "G" to take out all the major military powers that had a chance of stopping her.

He ships were tracked into Sector "G" (The sector possessed by the Globgogabgalab) but they never returned. for nearly 9 Earth years there was silence. Some say it was the greatest Space Battle in history but nobody saw it, other's say that Cowan's forces were instantly turned to yeast by the Globgogabgalab. But the fact is that what went down in Sector "G" is a total mystery. On 1130.7899 UGD an asteroid make entirely of bread crashed into an unpopulated planet in the constellation of Splooge. When a salvation expedition went to investigate the asteroid, they found a lot of burnt toast, and Ms Cowan, wide-eyed, trembling and 34Kg heavier lying in the center of the crater. Later analysis shows that the Asteroid was "Highly likely" to have originated from Sector "G".

in the 1st 1131 UGD Vericon Summit (After Vericon 1 was reclaimed and rebuilt by the U.U.), Ms Cowan was sentenced to Life imprisonment in the 67-9 Black Hole prison where she presumably still is to this day. (It is unknown whether prisoners sent to 67-9 are still there because light cannot escape from a black hole. Scientists theorise one would need 99% of all the energy in the universe to escape from that prison, and since the universe is still in one peice it can safely be assumed she's still there. But nothing is impossible...)

Universal Presidential Reformation Pact
After Ms Cowan was imprisoned Count O. M. Greow took up the job as Temporary President until the Universal Presidential Reformation Pact was signed. He would then resign so a fair election could be held for the first time in nearly 70 UGDs.

The Universal Presidential Reformation Pact sought to amend the Job of Universal President so another "1119 Scare" could not happen again. There were many small changes made (Like a 4 term limit for Universal Presidents) but the two major changes were that: First, the winner of a Universal Election can choose anyone in the Universe to be their Vigghh weeew de foo Vghhh [emergency president], not just candidates of that election, however at least 2/3 of the Sectrum Ultima Pantheons must agree on the choice. Second, Temporary Presidents are forbidden from running in the Universal Election directly following their run as Temporary President.

On 1131.8 UGD every Realm in the U.U. signed the Universal Presidential Reformation Pact, and so the Universe stood united, having avoided a repeat of the 'Everpresent situation'. This time, however, the Universe did not need the Gods to perform another "Great Miracle".